To my brother...

         It's been 3 months since I've written this letter. I remember crying on the university staircase as I wrote every single line. With every letter and every word, I poured out my heart along. Again, it's been 3 months. I still haven't handed him this letter. I don't have the courage. But now I'm posting this on my blog with the hope that the whole universe conspire and he would end up reading this post someday... someday...

Dec-10-2015

Dearest Kuya,

          In the Youth for Christ Community, we were taught to "Hate the sin, NOT the sinner". This seemed to be so unacceptable to me before. I used to hate lawbreakers. I hated seeing people hurt or harm other people. I despised sinners, though I know I am a sinner too.

          Suddenly, you came home after months of being away from us. This time, however, you are no longer the Kuya that I've known. I remember you for being a joker. You used to tease us in an entertaining way. I remember you as my playmate. The Kuya who takes me to and from school. The one who taught me the basics of playing a guitar, of plucking the intro of Callalily's Magbalik. The Kuya who's really gwapo that I'm proud to show my classmates of. I remember you as the Kuya who rode with me on my very first motorcycle test drive on our barangay street. That's how I remember you!

          But you've become a different person now. Your head had gone so hard that it could break a rock if it clashes with it. You no longer pay attention to the pieces of advice given to you by papa, mama, and our ates. Do you really think they don't get hurt when they see you heading on the wrong path? Haven't you felt their love? They may scold you or talk to you the way you don't want them to - but it is because they care. WE care. Because we are a family and we can't imagine how it would be if something undesirable happens to you as a result of your deeds. Because even if you become more sinful and worthless than ever, you are still the only "Yiyig" we have and we can't hate you for that. We really love you Kuya, but not your sin. :(

It's never too late to turn back. . . .

600 DAYS

For the past 600 days, have you been seeing me in your dreams?

'Cause they say, when you extremely miss someone

you appear in that someone's dream...

and for the past 600 days, I've been missing you.

For the past 600 days, have you thought of me for even a single moment?

'Cause they say, when you can't stop thinking of someone

you suddenly cross that someone's mind...

and for the past 600 days, I've been thinking of you.

For the past 600 days, have you felt so clumsy?

'Cause they say, when you talk too often about someone

that someone stumbles, or slips, or bites his own tongue...

and for the past 600 days, I've been talking about you.

I hope it wasn't your nightmare to dream of me

and that you don't shudder at the thought of me.

I wish I could save you from every clumsy moment

but I'm sorry... I can't help it!

'Cause for the past 600 days,

I've been falling deeper and deeper for you.

Yes, I know, you don't notice me.

You don't smile nor look at me.

Worst to say, you don't even know my name.

'Cause for the past 600 days,

I can do nothing but look at you from a distance.

But if it takes another 600 days before I see you

smiling at me, or talking to me, or hear you calling my name..

then, let's not delay

LET THE COUNT BEGIN!

Prince Charming

If I look unto the sky

where the sun and clouds meet,

will I find my man

flying in a silly red sheet?

If I get lost in a forest

and bite a poisonous apple,

will my hero save me,

my prince so handsome and tall?

If I kiss a thousand frogs,

each with a thousand warts,

will I sooner find the right one which

to a prince charming distorts?

If I grow my hair so long

and trap myself on top of the tower,

will my man dare go all the way up

to take me with him forever?

Every night I wish upon a star

that a knight in shining armor I'll find.

Every minute of the day I'm dreaming,

seeing me and my prince in my mind.

Yet the hum of the wind stopped me

as it whispered to my ear:

"The best author, God, is still writing

your best love story, dear.."

EYES **

Through her eyes I see how her

heart leaps as she bursts into laughter

everytime she is with her man,

her mate, her bestfriend and her lover.

Through his eyes I see his heart

fluttering with every sight of her.

His smile shows his simple promise;

to bring happiness to her life forever.

For they share a love so genuine,

a feeling so pure and never would falter.

Their eyes see not the looks, the wealth

but what’s inside- the soul, the character.

Through their eyes I see their

undying affection for each other,

a love that never grows old, and

a promising story of happy ever after.

-LITTLE BOAT-

Its journey started by the break of dawn

Li’l Boat through smooth sea calmly sailed on

Morning sun lit the way yet came the winds so strong

‘til noon it was a struggle for Li’l Boat to move on

Unexpectedly a storm raged in the mid-afternoon

Gigantic waves crashed but Li’l Boat held on

Finally at sunset, Li’l Boat on the shore of stones

on twilight’s arms it rests, in its final destination.

                    Less lonely is the sky, no more ordinary night blue

                    Odd shades of black and white turn to brilliant hue

                    Vows of eternity witnessed by the moon in view

                    Everything above shimmers when love is shared by two.

~pL1992*

YOU

This is for you,

for you who inspires me.

For whenever you smile,

you simply. . .complete me :)

I never knew how it started,

my feelings for you.

You were once just a brother,

a sibling that I rarely talk to.

One day I woke up,

surprised to realize

you just appeared so charming

right before my eyes.

My passion of love flared

like a clear sky enriched by stars

but too late to discover

this love wasn't meant to be ours.

The vision of you together

was a pinprick to my heart.

Every look you gave to her

enfeebled me in every part.

My Milky Way Galaxy

has turned upside down.

My world that was crushed,

clanged like a tin can.

My mind went revolutionary,

wanting to sabotage your relationship

but my heart can't afford to hurt you,

so I bring all the pain to sleep.

And yes, my love for you

kills me slowly like a cyanide.

You never knew, you never knew

but I am dying inside.