YOU

This is for you,

for you who inspires me.

For whenever you smile,

you simply. . .complete me :)

I never knew how it started,

my feelings for you.

You were once just a brother,

a sibling that I rarely talk to.

One day I woke up,

surprised to realize

you just appeared so charming

right before my eyes.

My passion of love flared

like a clear sky enriched by stars

but too late to discover

this love wasn't meant to be ours.

The vision of you together

was a pinprick to my heart.

Every look you gave to her

enfeebled me in every part.

My Milky Way Galaxy

has turned upside down.

My world that was crushed,

clanged like a tin can.

My mind went revolutionary,

wanting to sabotage your relationship

but my heart can't afford to hurt you,

so I bring all the pain to sleep.

And yes, my love for you

kills me slowly like a cyanide.

You never knew, you never knew

but I am dying inside.

      It happened that I opened the Bible to seek for enlightenment and the first few lines struck me. . .

Psalms 53:1                  Fools say to themselves, ''There is no God"   .
                         They are all corrupt, and they have done terrible things;
                                      there is no one who does what is right.

               Indeed, there were some points of my life when I have doubted the existence of God. Many times, I wondered if my prayers really reached the heavens or just disappeared through thin air. People always hurt me, even my friends; I can't feel that my family is really proud of me; and everyone around me, I don't know how to trust them. I simply don't know why I exist!

               I finally asked God to hurt those who hurt me, punish them, and let them fall on their knees.
Yet, nothing happened. Totally none.

               Later, as I've known more about God, I realized that I was wrong. Absolutely wrong! He isn't a God of Vengeance, He is a God of Forgiveness, of Mercy and Compassion. He wouldn't want His children hurt and so I was a fool to think that He wasn't real. He was indeed like the air -- invisible and not felt most of the times, but still supports my whole life. I know without air, I could've died; and without God, I never could've even lived.